I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
