I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
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