dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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