is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
