The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize