Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
