No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
