She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
