fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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