oh god the rape fog is back!
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
