how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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