i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
