Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
