just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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