Your tits are I can't wait for
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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