ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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