Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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