My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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