whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
