My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
