Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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