I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
