I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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