Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
where am i from again
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Randomize
