he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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