I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
