He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
