oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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