I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Where did you get a picture of my penis
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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