how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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