Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
