these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
