sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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