the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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