He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
This is classic penis vs brain.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Randomize
