I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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