failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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