At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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