I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
This is the high leading the old right now
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
