you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
