Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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