Well apparently he's into motor boating.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Randomize
