I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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