i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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