Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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