What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He kissed a someone with a penis
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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