My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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