I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
