why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
