I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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