if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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