I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
